Many of us tend to think that “I’ll be happy when I get that promotion; when I have reached xxxx dollars in my bank account; when I have a bigger house; when I loose xxx kilos; when I get my first muscle up”.
We tend to think of happiness as an ultimate goal, a destination. And many times we end up missing out on the here and now, thinking that only when we achieve our goals, we will be happy.
Can we be happy even if we still haven’t reached that lifelong goal? The answer is yes!
First of all, we need to review our notion of happiness. We have been raised to believe that if we get a good degree, find a good job, marry a good mate, establish a family and earn the right amount of money, we’ll be happy. But attaining these goals rarely leads to happiness. Right?
WHAT IS HAPPINESS
There’s no easy way to describe happiness. It’s better described as what it’s not.
Definitely not a destination we arrive at. Also, it’s not about material things like money, prizes, houses, cars….Happiness is something people or situations can not give or take from you.
Many times we confuse happiness with contentment or joyful feelings. When we feel sad or irritable, then we think we’re “unhappy”. Are we really unhappy though or is it just a temporary negative feeling that will pass?
It’s really easy to bury our heads and sink deeper when we struggle. It’s not uncommon to see people who seem so unhappy even if they have it all. On the contrary, we sometimes see people who keep their chin up and rise despite negative experiences like health issues or traumas.
HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE
During the years many researchers and psychologists have come to the conclusion that, regardless of the situation, happiness is a choice and it requires practice. And we need to choose it over and over again every day.
While slipping into negativity, it’s easy, if not natural, in tough situations, being positive and happy is a choice we need to take over and over again every day.
The catch? Actually none – it’s about looking to the bright side and keeping a positive mindset. This will make us feel better and eventually will bring us to success.
It doesn’t mean we need to celebrate even when we fail. It means accepting our failure and moving on in spite of adversity. A negative mind frame will only lead us to the same negative conclusion (no change) or even to worse consequences.
A positive mindset will lead us to look at what happened and to take a next step which will help us avoid another failure so we can improve our situation and keep growing.
THINK ABOUT FAILING A LIFT
Athletes with an optimistic outlook don’t play the victim. They won’t blame the coach or the bad experience they had at work today. They will recognise the outcome was not what they’d hoped for and see an opportunity to improve.
They’ll start working on technique, asking question after question to their coach and learning from their mistakes and failures. They’ll spend more time practicing and less blaming life or work.
Most likely, they will excel in their next lift and do better than expected. This would never have happened if the athlete hadn’t failed at first.
BE A HAPPY ATHLETE
A life without difficulties doesn’t exist and it will be a boring life anyway, which makes you feel unchallenged and, ultimately, unhappy.
What needs to change when adversity strikes next time is your attitude towards it. Can I learn something from it? Can I do better next time? What’s positive about it?
A positive, constructive approach to life’s obstacles can change how you feel daily, making you feel “happier” and with a purpose. If you repeatedly choose positivity over a negative mindset and see the bright side in every life’s challenge, you will set yourself up for success and a happier life.
Every failure is an opportunity to grow. Next time you fail, fight back!
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